"Well, Ma . . . It's Time To Call The Sheriff." A Christmas Tale

I'd spent three days in the kitchen, preparing, mixing, baking, cooking, tasting and eating.  Now that the Christmas Day feast was over, and the carnage thereof evident, I needed a change of pace.  And fast.

Gil and I have found a Shangri-La of sorts ~ a unique and hidden away spot that, when hiking, brings a great deal of soothing, peaceful comfort to one's soul.  Driving this shangri-la-ish retreat, however? A whole 'nuther story, which can result in wailing and gnashing of teeth.

 Literally.

Yet, let me not get ahead of myself.

You see, we'd determined early in the day that we'd take a tour of our hideaway via our handy dandy SUV.  We loaded up all the available people still hanging out at our house, and headed for the hills.  The GilGuy had pre-arranged entry to this place with a nearby landowner, who had given his express consent to utilize his property line for access.  We buzzed on in, excited to experience the flora and fauna on this crisp, cold Christmas Day from the warmth of a car heater.

"OOooo!  Ahhhh!"  Majestic oaks were seen; panoramic vistas visually digested and obscure four wheeler paths called our name.  Sitting in the very back of said vehicle, I and Keller were trounced and bounced acre after acre.  That is, until.

Yes, the adventurous GilGuy determined he'd try an unchartered route ~ you know, the one that traversed the gully?  The deep and cavernous gully?

He'd only ventured half way down the hill when he changed his mind.

But it was too late.

Reverse in this old SUV didn't seem to work any more, as the tire wheels spun and sputtered in a brand new mud track made for such a time as this.  Hm.

This didn't look good!

No matter!  Never fear!  said the GilGuy, optimism high . . . all we need is a tractor, and our entry-point guy has just the one for our rescue!

After a tad of humming and hawing, it was decided the entire entourage would trek back to the homestead and ask to be pulled out of the  . . . gully.

Well, it didn't take us long to complete that hike, with Gil in his hiking hat and scarf, John in his aviator jacket, Tiffany in her boots and toting her designer purse . . . nope.  Not long at all.

Thing is . . . once we arrived back at the homestead on the range, no one came to the door.  But we were met by a band of roving, vicious lab/pit bull mix puppies.  Oh, and a rather large chihuahua.

Nonplussed, we simply decided to make a new plan.  Inexplicably, less than an hour before, Tiffany had insisted on driving her car to the resort.  We cajoled her to join us only when her car could no longer gain entry to the rough yet beautiful terrain.  She had obliged.  That car was now a mile and a half away as the crow flies, and the GilGuy made a command decision.  He'd be hiking back to the car, whilst we waited.

All right.

So we did.

Wait, that is.

and wait.

and wait.

It was John who instinctively took charge and said, "Let's begin hiking back."  So we did.  Rounding the corner to the road, we threw up a loud cheer as we saw the GilGuy drive up in Tiff's spiffy little car.

************

We were now back at the house, driven here by Tiffany the Speedster, and awaited word anxiously as to Gil's return.  Would he have the SUV?  Or would he be driven home by the other neighbor, whose four wheel drive vehicle showed up in the nick of time?

I felt slightly miffed at being left out of the action, but, it was what it was, and besides, the warm house had a slight advantage over pulling out a stuck truck:  Pumpkin Pie.  So it was all right.

Tick, tock; tick tock . . . the clock slowly moved forward.

John finally had to exit, and, well, if he was going, so was Tiffany.  Keller and I sat alone at the hacienda, as day turned to dusk, and still no Gil.

************

When the front door finally opened, the GilGuy was as the Cheshire Cat, grinning from ear to ear.

Yes, it seems he'd narrowly escaped a trip to the local jail house, when his story of having obtained permission to enter the property panned out.  The two sheriff's who had gingerly walked on to the property discovered Gil and the four wheelin' neighbor successfully extricating the SUV from it's perilous place. Imagine their surprise, as they found not one "trespasser" but two!  No . . . make that three!  As the four wheel drive neighbor carried his son along with him.  Yup.  Danger was afoot . ..  and these men best be showin' some ID.

As logic and levelheadedness prevailed, the entire party, deputies and all, returned to the little hacienda on the plain  and had further speaks with the little old lady who lived inside.

Apparently, her lifetime love of a husband had failed to relay the very important piece of information that he had given the GilGuy permission to trek across their back half.

All's well that ends well, however, as the little old lady sheepishly apologized for causing so much trouble.

Gil was soon on his way home, and happy to have been given freedom at zero charge.

Me?  I'm still a wee tweaked that I have nary a photo of the GilGuy being grilled by law enforcement.

Not one.

Now *that* would be some blog fodder, eh???

A Merry Christmas to all, and Happy Holidays as you close out the year, 2010!  :D