Thursday, May 21, 2009

Momma Bear Takes Up Her Cross

We Mom's have all experienced it.

That moment when someone outside our family unit expresses an opinion, or projects a course of action upon our child that we vehemently disagree with; or feel is an incorrect assessment; or perhaps injures our child, whether in the pshyce or physically.

Our protection mechanisms kick in, and soon we are experiencing the flush of emotion that generates the intense and fully operative "Wild Banchi Woman" response that has the ability to take the offending party out. of. the. game.

I'm no stranger to it. It's not a pretty sight ~ as I have pushed back onslaughts of offensive behavior more than once, on behalf of each of my children at different seasons, if memory serves.

The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue. Proverbs 25:23

In the name of parental protection, we Momma Bears often feel justified in our actions of standing ground for our child. Helping the helpless. Being a wall of protection to those who are not able to protect themselves.

I daresay there is definitely time and place for such measures.

However, recently, one of our children experienced an onslaught of actions that was partially justified by the person doing the [seemingly] corrective action. A rule had been broken, a boundary crossed. Yet, when we discovered the method of correction, we were aghast at the measures utilized against our child.

[Enter Momma Bear] #$!^%##$@!!#

As circumstances would have it, an adult pow-wow was not to be had immediately among the two parental parties involved, thus giving space and the ability to reflect and speak from consideration and meditation as to the best conflict resolution method to employ.

I'm feeling grateful for this cooling off period.

You see, as the discourse began peeling away the layers of 'onion skin' around the issue, the GilGuy and I were faced with an overwhelming awareness of the shoes the other person walked in. A knowledge that they had done the best they could, with what they knew, in the strength they had.

In other words, the other party was powerless to do any different.

Gil and I had no time to communicate with one another during the pow-wow that we had come to this realization independently. Yet, we moved forward with one mind, and one accord, granting grace and mercy to the offending party. Discussing the phenomena afterward, we both stood in awe that the Lord would so clearly direct us in this fashion.

Time has now passed since that decision was made: the moment when Momma Bear took up her cross to bear the offense rather than demand it be righted.

Ye have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: but I say unto you, resist not him that is evil: but whosoever smiteth thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man would go to law with thee, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it was said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy: but I say unto you, love your enemies, and pray for them that persecute you; that ye may be sons of your Father who is in heaven Matthew 5:38-45

Strangely, it feels good, and proper, and right.

The decision has moved me to pray for the other parents involved, that the Lord continue to grant them grace and mercy in the days ahead. Perhaps - yes, perhaps - what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn to good.


Basia said...

Angi I loved this post! Connor is only 19 months old and already situations have presented themselves where I have had to hold back from reacting and take a step back and assess the situation. The maternal instinct is so strong!

Ailurophile said...

You're so right about a mother's instinct. I don't think there's a stronger one in nature! Nice blog :)

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