I listened to the cadence of her speech; the delicate candor of her varied emotions.
I felt torn. I wanted to escape to a deep, heartfelt conversation with her, yet I found myself distracted by a fussing baby, and teens bantering in the background. A quiet interlude was nowhere to be found. Hanging up the line, less than satisfied, I hungered to spend time with her.
Hours later, in the stillness of the evening hours, I sat reading in the corner, a cup of tea by my side. Unprepared, I turned yet another page, to read another snippit, a window into the life of a woman who utilizes words like a skillful artist brushes a canvas with oils.
The hot tears stung as the final words echoed off the page:
I've been so remiss about calling and dropping by that when I hugged my mother the other day, I burst into tears. With her arms around me, she said, "Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I love you. And whether you call or don't call doesnt' change that love one bit." She didn't even get choked up saying it.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a flood of memories crossed the threshold of that fact. How many times have I been remiss about calling home? Forgetting to say I love you? How ingrained have the habits become, that I would allow time to slip by unnoticed, not acknowledged . . .a love felt but not expressed ~
4 comments:
Hey Angi,
Words of reflection and perhaps a "wake up call" for us all - how often do we find ourselves in similar situations?
I too dream of deep conversations with those I love, but am satisfied and content with the "snippets" of time we have together. They will keep me until such time as the "deep" conversation can or may occur.
Bethany is assured of your love - of that I am certain. And with your once-again found realization of the importance of expression of your love, she (and all others so blessed to enjoy a relationship with you!) will undoubtedly be hearing those words again.
Blessings to you - as you bless us all with your thoughts.....
Love you -
Those words sound like something my mother would say. I'm the world's best when it comes to thinking about people, but the world's worst when it comes to checking in on them.
You're getting awfully deep these days. All sorts of pondering and meditating going on in that beautiful head of yours.
Lovely writing. Truly. Keller (and Keeton, and all the others) really is beautiful!
Miss you much. Really, I do.
So glad you're doing well. Call Bethany when you get a moment. I'm sure it's lovely to hear from mom on a whim. :)
...and stay away from those mashed potatoes. Cain't you tell that's a heart attack just WAITIN' to happen?!? Lawsie Mercy. :P
It seems that we are feeling quite reflective lately.
I enjoyed your words and have been thinking very much the same thing of late.
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